hais...
im actually not capable of anything..
im just so useless..
sharon went RLP at bkk..
i tot i can take good care of the store n so tat i can gain more respect frm my mgrs..
but no!
i made the store worst!
i blamed myself for everything!
i felt so helpless at tat point of time..
i really dont noe who to turn to..
i really dont noe wat to do!
but i noe i still need to stay strong no matter wat happens..
i felt bad most is coz i did the greatest mistake ever..
i wont forget n i wont forgive myself!
but i got no choice!!
so how?!!
hais!!!
i really felt better aft one slp..
明天会更好？
i hope so too..

yeah yeah!!
i finally got my iphone4 white aft such a damn LONG wait -.-
but its worth it de..
老天不负苦心人 (:
its true ohh..
anw!!
thanks to dear to for getting this for me..
he himself got 1 too..
(:

pls go n take a look at today's (30apr) straits times!

'recruit' front page.

u'll see me there!

surprise!!
heh heh!!

=P


iphone4 white is out ytd!!
I WANT TO GET IT!!!!!!!
its while stocks last!
the most shit thing is i got no same off day with dear these few days!!
he's getting too n he's buying for me!!
lalala~~
=D
1 more shit thing is the stupid m1 dont allow me to waive off the $100 coz i wana recontract at the 19th mth!
just 1 more mth nia!
kaos!!
-.-

trying my very best to blend into.

its very difficult.

as wat i expected.

or even worst.

i want change them better.

the store to be more shiny.

(:

starting from today.

i wana start a new me.

(:

so happy!

had went to select flat with dear!

=D

we were so excited till we went to see the exact location.

we even went ikea went courts for shopping!!

LOLs!!

gan jiong ahh..

excited mah.

really kind of cant wait till 4yrs later.

so looking forward for our very own 爱的小屋!

bleahs!

loves!

<3

new mth.

new position.

new store.

new uniform.

haha.

being 1st asst is not easy.

being 1st asst at LP is more not easy.

i foresee i will have a hard time.

i noe ppl there will hate me if i shout out all my expectations.

i want to stay strong.

i want to have my stand.

i dont care how ppl see me.

as long as im doing the right thing.

pls give me the courage for me to do all these.

felt abit better aft talking to laichoon.

thanks (:

heyy..

i shld be happy.

i got wat i wanted aft 3yrs.

but y is it at lucky plaza?

im promoted leh!!

y am i still so grumpy?!!

-.-

ya true.

i escaped the verification.

but tats not the way.

hais.

after all tats not the way i want to get wat i wanted.

argh!!

watever it is!

i got the post which means somehow boss see me up in some ways.

so just work hard ba!

jia you ohh suet!

(:

its amazing.

its the 2nd time i got promoted on april's fool day.

n both times i got to thank louise.

(:

anw..

aside frm everything..

i just came back frm zoo n mbs skypark!!

with faliq fadzli n tirta!!

so great n fun!

=D

our next plan..

mbs skypark pool!

hees!

=p

"from now till mth end pls dont let anything happen to urself..do n show ur best.."

"if nothing goes wrong..u shld be get promoted on 1apr.."

exactly 7yrs ago..

same person told me the same thing agt mtgs..

"wef 1apr..u will promoted to star.."

yes..

i dont want to happy first n flying up to sky..

same like 7yrs ago..

im hoping for the best n preparing for the worst.

(:

jiayou!!

good luck!!

=D

im feeling so MIXED UP now!

yes!

suddenly i feel how i felt 2yrs ago.

my fav 1st asst transferred out.

came 1 tat i think is incapable.

so wat i meant is haffis got transferred out n came aqing.

n now?

laichoon got transferred out n effie took over.

i noe i sounded bad.

hais!

I DONT NOE LAHH!!!

>.<

damn long nv contact haffis.

msged him his this n tat num.

still no respond.

gave up!

but still heard frm ppl news abt him.

ya expected cos tat's his behavior.

just now at work need sthg urgently.

called nearby no one can help.

just b4 the moment i tot of calling forum.

i feel so MIXED UP again.

hope he will ans?

or not?

argh!

watever!

wat i need is more impt!!

its really him.

think he noes its me so he asked who am i.

i refused to ans him tat qns!

he dare to say me ACTION!

kaos!

if i were beside him i sure punch him de lor!!

talked to him awhile.

he sounded sad.

its not the haffis i knew anymore.

i really dont noe how to console him.

i really realised im sux at words!

anw he said i always msged him the wrong num!

i oso didnt ask him which num shall i contact him.

fate ba.

hope he will msg me if he still think n rmb me.

i actually wanted to tell him.

dont step onto bosses' tails.

tat wat he said to me 2yrs ago.

i hope he wont do anything silly.

jiayou pakcikk!!

(:

me?

no hope of getting out of orchard anymore.

i dont noe wat to choose.

suddenly i dont feel like getting promoted.

cos i see no future if i promoted under syed.

unless he retire?

hais!

im really feeling damn sux!

its difficult not to believe rabbit year is not good for the rabbits.

for me it is.

i dont noe for the rest of the rabbits..

my fav best 1st asst lai choon got promoted n transferred out.

i told her.

i dont noe to be happy or sad.

happy tat she got promoted?

or sad tat she got transferred out?

got another attack on me.

effie got promoted to 1st asst to take over lai choon.

i told lai choon the same thing.

i dont noe to be happy or sad.

happy tat she got promoted?

or sad tat im not the one got promoted?

I REALLY DONT NOE!!

i really really think thru alot.

it really seems like i just got 2 tight slaps on my face.

n really its time for me to wake up.

2 person got promoted just right infront of me?

HOW ABOUT ME?!!

watever it is.

alr at this stage.

i really have to think positively.

at least if i got promoted next i dont need to be his 1st asst.

maybe i got the chance to get out of BP stores.

yes just 2mths i alr sick n tired of BP stores!!

-.-

so my next aim is to get promoted n get out of orchard!!

n i will let him regret not promoting me!!

>.<

well..

thanks laichoon for telling me tat crew are asking her y is effie got promoted n y not me.

at least i noe im still lovable in store.

i still stand fair bit in their hearts.

(:

but..

things had alr happened till this stage.

shld tell the crew tat shld support his decision on promoting who.

support effie.

if not i think the crew wont gain respect frm her.

thanks laichoon telling me tat ppl outside are asking me how i feel when effie got promoted.

n some of them are ppl tat i dont even noe them!

ya at least i noe tat ppl out there somewhere still noes my existence.

thanks to the ppl who care for my feelings.

(:

like wat laichoon replied them.

if she tell them im not sad..

its damn fake lahh.

im still human after all.

got feelings.

i just have to think the positive way n i wont be sad!

(:

yes i really think tat im getting matured aft tat 2 tight slaps.

(:

so jiayou ba suet!

u'll get wat u want in afew mths time!!

=D

(:

miracle happens.

thank God who heard me crying.

thank my lucky star being by my side.

lastly..

thank the gapbuster who did not penalise me n fail me badly.

at least i can smile abit more.

(:

rumours are scary.

its difficult not to listen.

once u listen.

its difficult not to believe.

heard tat laichoon getting promoted n transferring out soon.

VERY soon.

who is not sad abt it?

ya..

i noe im not the one taking over her.

i noe where i stand.

its effie obviously.

hais!

y i always will have this awful feeling.

seeing ppl behind me getting promoted first.

fuck right?

>.<

as i said i noe where i stand.

im totally ok with her getting promoted.

i admit i said i dont want her being my 1st asst.

i admit i told laichoon to bring me where ever she's gg.

but i thnk again n again n again for a long time.

now..

i want stay where i am.

even though effie is my 1st asst.

if i feel so awful.

how abt herman?

i bet he feel much more worse den me.

he even off his hp aft we broke out the rumours to him!

i noe if i stay where i am i cant see anything bright soon.

i noe if i go with laichoon i might get wat i want sooner.

i decide to stay on for herman.

or either laichoon take herman with her instead.

think it will be better for everyone of us.

my awful feeling will be over very fast de.

i will feel awful its just cos i dont want to face the fact.

had our yearly without fail cny reunion.

this yr abit special.

its lunch.

and its at iris' hse.

thanks sis!

ur family is so great!

ur 2 doggies are great too!

=p

sometimes i do always think..

y are we meeting up only on occasions n celebrations?

without cards without mj.

chit chatting n gossiping is really more den enough.

june played violin for us!

=D

10yrs alr..

everyone of us are at different stage of our own life.

each of us having different goals in life.

some struggling studying to achieve better.

some struggling working to strive for future career.

some struggling working n studying to aim higher.

unlike 10yrs ago..

all our aims n goals are the same.

to pass common test, mid yr, end yr exams.

to score well in o lvls.

have good L1R4, L1R5 grades.

一转眼已经十年了...

10 yrs...

not only our goals are different.

even our talking topic are different..

10 yrs ago...

"wei!!have u bought the latest album of 5566/F4/A1/BSB/britney/S club 7 etc..."

"tmr 听写 study from which page to which page ar?"

"hais..tonight i need to burn midnight oil to finish up my d&t folio lahh..."

"heyy..later aft sch go hg mall shopping ok!"

"later recess wana eat 菜饭 or 虾面?"

now...

"wahh he proposed to u alr arr!!"

"when getting married?!!"

"getting ur new hse soon ar?"

"i just got my BTO q num!!"

"tsk tsk tsk...houses getting expensive n expensive..."

see so much different..

just imagine..

another 10 yrs down the road..

we meet up again..

wat will our topics be like?

"*** brand de milk powder better for ur kid's IQ..my ah boy drinking this brand"

"*** brand de pampers got better absorbent..my ah girl using!"

(:

thinking so much.

im actually afraid.

i dont want time to fly again.

im afraid growing up.

im afraid being an adult.

im afraid of all the stress.

im afraid i cant handle everything.

im afraid i'll lose my love ones.

im afraid i'll break down one day.

im afraid of my future.

==

anw..

happy valentine's.

(:

ya again..

me?

还好咯...

im so bored tat he's not the romantic type.

=\

but actually i can see him changed for me over the 3yrs.

(:

in the past he dont sweet talk to me.

unless i asked him to say.

den he will say it..unwillingly..

-.-

sads right?

but now..

once awhile he will do tat.

=p

i ever asked him y he'll say it now but not in the past?

he ans "now i feel like say it so i say lorr.."

hees!

perhaps its partly cos i complained to him too many times le!

=p

we used to quarrel over very tiny weeny matter.

1 incident i rmb very clearly.

he asked me wat i want for dinner..

i cant decide so i ans "anything".

i dont noe wats up in his brain.

he got fed up.

n sent me home immediately.

with my empty stomach!!

>.<

but now..

i really see the diff in him.

he is so much more patient den b4.

his tolerance lvl of my nonsense is up.

at times i threw my temper n being nonsensical.

he did not fed up.

n i always tell him "if i did the same thing in the past, u alr angry le!!"

den he'll just smile at me.

(:

so now..

i'll continue to wait for u to changed into a romantic guy for me.

ok?!!

=p

i got so much to thank you.

still rmb..

u're the one who let me believe in GUYS again.

u're the one who give me the confidence to FALL IN LOVE again.

thank you for loving me so much n oso giving me a chance to love you.

both of us noes tat now we cant live on without each other.

i wont let u go cos no one will hold onto me so tightly like u.

u wont let me go cos no one will love the way im loving u.

<3

i will continue to love ur imperfections perfectly.

happy valentine's day my love!

(:

wats wrong with me?

wats wrong with everything?!!

sometimes its difficult not not believe all this.

4th Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rabbit – 兔

Cuddly, warm and affectionate are the attributes of the Rabbit. Mysterious and a great party-giver and host, the Rabbit enjoys being the centre of attention once in a while. The Rabbit is occasionally over cautious and can be a bit boring. He is also one of the luckiest signs in the Chinese Astrology chart.

Rabbit Fortune in 2011:

This is the Tai sui year for the rabbit, there is plenty of evil star and less lucky ones. You may encounter many obstacles this year in the things you do. You may have nobility that can lend a hand in your career but you will still be prone to possible pressure. You have to stay positive and strive to forge ahead, try as much as you can to improve your social skills to make future career. You will be very much prone to emotional problems, you will encounter many moodswings, hot temper and it is sometimes difficult to control. You may encounter many argument with others. This year, you should pay attention to your health, stay alert to prevent accidents. Wealth is bad, not suitable for high-risk investments in order to avoid money disputes.

Rabbit Career in 2011:

This year at work, there is a lot of pressure for the rabbit, social relationships may not be too good when dealing with bosses and fellow colleagues, disputes may occur. You may need to put in extra effort to improve relations between people around you as well as keeping low profile on everything you got to do. Be mindful of your behaviour and on others to avoid offending anyone. You may meet some nobility, but possible obstacles is surrounding. Therefore you are to be vigilant and alert, do not take thing too lightly. You should also carry out tasks step by step to avoid unecessary problem that may affect the progress of the task. Rabbit people should be extra careful In everything you do this year, making new friends to be specific, especially a partner.

Rabbit Wealth in 2011:

This is a very bad fortune year for the rabbit. Not only it is difficult for you to earn bucks, you may encounter money loss that may cause you to result in financial crisis. You should be more aware of your spending as well as being extra careful whe dealing with money. Do not rely on others, and avoid doing any business. You should be careful on any investment or being a guarantor is not advisable. As for those that are doing business, you may consider to stay low profile and avoid any big investment. Strong advise to avoid stock investment or any form of gambling.

Rabbit Love in 2011:

Love luck is weak, regardless whether you are single or married. Singles do not expect too much, even if there is chances of meeting people, most of it will not meet a good result. As the mood for the rabbit is poor, stormy moods and hot temper, you may find that there is a lot of arguments and disputes between the attached. Try to take the initiative and accommodating each other, make effort for more communication. If there is any breakup due to unnecessary fight, you will regret. There will also be many villains that intrudes into your relationship.

Rabbit Health in 2011:

This year health is not pleasant as there is an evil star in it. Health for the rabbit will be relatively poor, pay extra attention on the gastrointestinal problems, you are also prone to Xueguang. You should develop good eating habits, have healthy meal and eat on time. You will also be prone to limbs injury, be careful when handling metal tool, stay as far away as you can. When you are not in a good mood, you should avoid going out, such as the inevitable need to drive or travel. Pay attention to safety this year, avoid situation that may triggers your emotion and provoke unnecessary trouble.

The Rabbit

Rabbits are private individuals, a bit introverted and withdrawn. People e born into this sign would rather work behind-the-scenes instead of being the center of attention in any situation. Do not misunderstand…the Rabbit is not a recluse. In fact, he is a reasonably friendly individual who enjoys the company of a group of good friends whether at a business dinner or a holiday party. Rabbits just like to be a part of the gang as opposed to the leader of it.

Cuddly, warm and affectionate are the attributes of the Rabbit. Mysterious and a great party-giver and host, the Rabbit enjoys being the centre of attention once in a while. The Rabbit is occasionally over cautious and can be a bit boring. He is also one of the luckiest signs in the Chinese Astrology chart.

Chinese Zodiac Meets Western Astrology Horoscope

ARIES RABBIT

These people need their own space and will utilize their ambitious natures by changing career patterns and personal paths throughout their lives. They need to be in motion and motivate themselves through change.

TAUREAN RABBIT

These Rabbits measure their success in the acquisitions they have made. They like the stability and comfort of nice things and work hard to provide these luxuries to themselves and their families.

GEMINI RABBIT

These people love to talk and actually, unlike most Rabbits, like to be the center of attention. They make great friends and find talking stimulates them.

CANCERIAN RABBIT

These Rabbits find themselves in a tight relationship with their mothers. They are deeply sensitive individuals who are most at ease in the comforts of their own home.

LEONINE RABBIT

These people are extremely popular with others, partly due to their suave natures. They are outgoing, yet conditioned, and are one of the most confident of these combinations.

VIRGO RABBIT

These Rabbits are incredibly and almost annoyingly organized. They can be seen as anal, but trust they will never lose anything and will finish most nay project they start. They are a bit fussy about their neatness, but are some of the most efficient people you will ever meet.

LIBRAN RABBIT

Libran Rabbits are quite the sophisticated breed and love to be in the midst of a social situation. They play the part of the socially-aware quite convincingly.

SCORPIO RABBIT

These Rabbits are demure, and you never quite know what they’ll do next. They are creative and open-minded and you can find most working in the arts. Although they are relatively stand-offish at times, they carry with them a depth of character unbeknownst to most people.

SAGITTARIAN RABBIT

These are probably the most open-minded of the Rabbits finding comfort in just relaxing at home. They don’t get caught up in the sensitive characteristics of the normal Rabbit and would rather be a little less emotional and a lot more comfortable.

CAPRICORN RABBIT

These Rabbits thrive on promotions and raises at work. They work to see their efforts rewarded and take pride in their statuses and titles at work. They are loyal, handworkers, although not showy in their endeavors.

AQUARIAN RABBIT

These Rabbits love to learn new things and search for the answers to their own questions. They are gifted with imagination and determination. These individuals would rather be rich in knowledge than in possessions.

PISCEAN RABBIT

The Piscean Rabbit is quite a complex person. He is creative and will work best in relaxed, peaceful situations where his creativity can be explored and put to good measure.

ya its true lahh..

things done cant be undone anymore.

说出去的话收不回..

i admit tat 我话中有话..

but to protect myself.

u say me selfish or wat so ever.

i just find it totally unfair for me.

its been FIVE MONTHS 了好不好!!!

even a expect will sure lose its skills lahh!!

>.<

till today aft this incident den i truly realised n understand wat rahmah trying to tell me...

wat made me more boiling is his reaction!!!

FCUK LAHH!!!

another saddening thing is..

i told him tat im damn sad.

他竟然告诉我不知道要怎么逗我高兴...

hais..

forget it..

cos i noe he's like tat...

now i hope miracle will happen.

hope God heard me crying.

hope lucky star is by my side.

i want to be happy!!

i dont want this sucky feeling!!

>.<

happy cny everyone!

(:

happy cny to me?

还好 lorr..

actually dont really looking forward to it though..

ask me wats reunion dinner?

i can tell u i dont noe.

nv i had one tat i wanted to have.

but definitely  im looking forward for one.

(:

at a point of time.

i feel like giving up alr.

im enough of everything.

wat if one day i leave for good?

will ppl now wish me all the best?

or ppl will comment tat im just avoiding?

its really a torture when missing someone.

i admit when workload increased n im real busy, u're not in my mind.

but aft 1 whole tired day, sat down alone.

u'll suddenly appear in my mind.

will u have the same feeling too?

yes till now i still HATE loneliness.

how i wish aft 1 whole day of torture at work.

i'll have u by my side.

i think at least i'll smile?

i admit i hate/jealous/envy ppl life is better den mine.

i would rather avoid n not to noe.

yes i feel the heartpain  when i got to noe.

ya tats y....

HAIS!!!

aft the previous post.

everything changed.

wat i wanted is not ppl ard me tat care so much for me wanted.

how shall i put it?

"out of no choice"?

or i shld say i shld face it bravely.

instead of avoiding.

i submitted my so call plan.

of coz boss is shocked how come i changed my mind within 2days.

coz i really felt bad to disappoint ppl tat care n trained me so hard.

thinking back now..

lucky to have them to build up my courage to face it.

thank you laichoon.

thank you louise.

i really LOVE you 2!!

<3

since tat day onwards.

i had told myself to change.

but not so obviously.

in case ppl think otherwise.

i dont noe hows my performance since den.

but till 2days ago.

things like back to square 1.

we 3 make her angry upset n disappointed.

again n again.

see how bad are we treating such a great wonderful 1st asst.

think we really deserve feeling guilty, having sleepless night n herman taking the wrong train home.

when i saw her at work just now.

i noe n i can feel she is not the one i first knew.

we 3 really dont noe how n when it will be solved...